What To Look For In A Therapist

It can be hard to know what to look for in a therapist. Many people spend a great deal of time looking for the “perfect therapist.” Others find themselves spending too much time and money with someone they do not connect with. Due to confidentiality, it is impossible to have an accurate sense of a therapist’s quality of care based on online reviews.

How do you know what to look for?

Below are a few qualities that I recommend individuals look for in a therapist as they are determining who is a good fit.

Emotional Safety: Growth and healing best occur within the context of an emotionally safe relationship with the therapist. When a client feels emotionally safe, they are able to share openly and allow the therapist into their thoughts and feelings. Personality and past experiences can impact a client’s ability to feel a sense of emotional safety in any relationship. However, a sign that a therapist is a good fit is if the client is feeling emotionally safe, or continuing to feel more emotionally safe in the therapy relationship.

Feeling Understood: Feeling deeply understood is vitally important to the therapist-client relationship. It should feel like the therapist is both tracking with what you are saying and how you are feeling in a session. It is important that the client feels, “My therapist just gets me."

Positive Change: You are likely pursuing therapy because you would like something to be different in your life. The ultimate changes you are looking for could be possible immediately, while others take some time. Regardless of the changes you are looking for, a good therapeutic fit should lead to some positive change. Examples of changes are experiencing a new feeling, having a new insight, altering your schedule, leaving a toxic relationship, or experiencing less anxiety or depression. Everyone’s time frame is different, but a good therapeutic fit should be leading you in the right direction.

Belief in the Therapist: Finally, it is important to believe in your therapist. You want to find someone that you genuinely believe can help you. This can be based on specialties, qualifications or simply a gut feeling. Your buy-in and confidence in the therapist’s abilities can make a significant difference in the goodness of fit.

I typically recommend that clients try out a therapist for 3-4 sessions before making a decision. This is because it can take a few sessions to warm up to someone and to get an accurate sense of what it’s like to be with the therapist. That being said, it is entirely possible to just know that the therapist is either a good fit or a poor fit, and there is wisdom in listening to this feeling.